Tales of Stalking and How to Avoid Being a Creeper

ARE YOU CREEPING ON HIM?

Are you looking at social media? Trying to accidentally run into him? Driving by his home? There’s an easier way to attract him back!

Yes, women do it all the time.  We creep!  We create accounts online that are fake, or get our friends to do it, so we can creep on the ex without his knowledge.  When I was broken up I got on match.com just to creep on my ex.  Of course, I really didn't get to use my account because I had to stay hidden or pay extra so he couldn't see me looking at him.  Once I accidentally had my profile turned on and he saw it --- how humiliating.

I wonder why men don't spend their time stalking us?  Well, for the most part anyway.  I had an ex "John" who actually hired a private detective and tracked  me down while I was out of the state.  I had a PI (not a good-looking one like Magnum) show up at a remote location in the mountains with a fake clipboard in his hand asking silly questions about non-existent neighbors.  Poor John.  He was the ultimate "creeper".  He slept outside my house one night and I was walking to the street to get my garbage receptacle the next morning when I saw a car (a rental) parked across the street.  The windows were rolled down and I kept seeing a head pop up and down.  Curiosity got the best of me so I went over to the car and sure enough up popped John.  He was in the backseat and looked like he had a rough night trying to sleep in that tiny car.

I suppose the person who cares the most is usually the "creeper".  In John's case it was me who left so I get it.  One night I found him  hiding behind a bush that was the size of a small ficus tree.  It was 2AM and I saw someone crouching down with sunglasses and a baseball cap on.   When I saw him he began chasing me down the street like a 2 year old.  I didn't realize he could run that fast!

I  kept telling him to give up but he wouldn't do it!  He thought there was hope because I was nice to him but I was nice to him because I was over him.  Is that the curse of being nice to someone that you lead them into believing they have a chance?  Is your boyfriend being nice to you and leading you into believing that he will be back?  Only you know the answer but my advice to you is to step back and evaluate the situation before forcing yourself on him.  "Don't be a creeper".

It is horrible for the person being stalked because they feel trapped--- trapped and pissed.  Anger is not the emotion you want to evoke if you want your ex back.  I was so angry that I could have choked John but instead ended up calling the police for protection.  How do you know if you are the "creeper"?  Well, if you are planning ways to "run into" him, devising a plan to accidentally send him a text message, checking out his friend's FB account hoping you will see a pic of him (because he blocked you from his), going to his hangout with your girlfriends for support, thinking of reasons you need to get something you "left accidentally" at his place -- you're a creeper.

My advice is to move on and let him go -- for now!  You can send him messages the way I teach in my books and know that they will get to him faster and better than accidental text messages where you are pretending to be having such a fabulous time.  You know, the pic of you and your single girlfriends at HH trying to live it up and exude confidence.  When you move on you will actually get your power back and have fun without pretending!   When he truly and accidentally runs into the new, powerful and confident "you" that he fell in love with it will make him miss you and see you in an entirely different light.  Isn't that what you secretly long for?

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The Power of First Impressions: Love at First Sight

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT CAN HAPPEN

Sometimes you just know it’s love at first sight. These tips can help you trigger love from the other person.

Can you really make someone fall in love with you at first sight?  In a way, yes.  You can create a feeling of love, lust and a "head over heels" feeling when you first meet someone. You can give them the feeling of butterflies and make their heart pitter patter!

How?  There are two ways to do it and they can be used on a stranger or on your mate to ignite passion and the feeling of "falling in love" all over again.

1.  First of all, look into the person's eyes.  Not casually looking at them or glancing around the room like you're paying attention to them part of the time.  But really, really look into their eyes as if you can see deep into their soul.  This creates a feeling of excitement and expectation in the person you are looking at.  They actually feel a feeling that is akin to love.  As if they have known you forever....or want to know you forever!  It gives them butterflies and anticipation of what's to come!  An excitement that will stay in their memory banks forever.

2. Next, as you are gazing into their eyes and hanging onto every word send them thoughts that will bond them to you and want to know you like they have never wanted to know anyone before.  How do you do that?  While paying attention ONLY to their eyes (not nose, mouth, forehead, etc) think the thought that you want them to think and feel the feelings you want them to feel.  For instance, you want them to want you sexually?  Think the thought "you desire me" and feel the emotion of being desired.  You want them to think you are the hottest person alive?  Think the thought "you love the way I look" and feel the emotion of them admiring your appearance.  Have an adversary?  When you speak to them think the thought "you like me" and change your attitude about their feelings toward you to reflect the thought.  Watch your life change!  "Thoughts are things and they are powerful!"

I teach women all over the world to change their mate's actions, thoughts and feelings towards them with my books.  I also have meditations that will empower you and assist you in getting the man you want AND make your self-esteem skyrocket.

Relationship Mistakes Women Make

GETTING SOMEONE TO CHANGE

Trying to change someone is like trying to teach a cat to do tricks - it's probably not going to happen, and you're just going to end up frustrated and covered in scratches. Focus on accepting people for who they are and finding common ground where you can coexist peacefully - kind of like roommates who don't always agree but still manage to split the rent and not kill each other.

You know the saying "all is fair in love and war" but it seems to me, after 25 years of counseling women, that women can be their own worse enemy when it comes to relationships.  Do you see yourself in the following examples?

• Your mate says "you're too needy" and rather than back off and prove that you are an independent woman you stalk him which further alienates him.

• Your ex states that he "hates drama" so you throw a temper tantrum when he blocks you from social media and his phone after a nasty breakup.

• He says "I want to date other women" and you make the excuse that he loves you too much and is afraid of commitment so he gets a free pass while you sit at home alone and miserable.

• He tells you that he cares for you as a "friend with benefits" woman and, although you want an engagement ring, you agree to be that for him thinking you can change his mind in time.

• He may be honest and upfront by stating that "he never wants to get married" but you are positive that sex will be so awesome he will change his mind so you stay in a relationship for years and "waste your pretty" on him rather than find a man who is available.

• When he tells you all the things that are wrong with you (or the relationship) you try convincing him that you are "the perfect woman for him" and he could never find anyone who would love him more.

Women love to make over things so part of the problem is the challenge of getting someone to change.  How many of your friends (or even yourself) have said "with a different hairstyle, clothes, personality, money, sexual appeal, etc." he COULD BE the perfect mate.  He isn't at the moment but if he changes he has potential!

When a man states emphatically that the relationship is not going anywhere I beg you to listen to him.  In the off-chance that he does change his mind he will hunt you down and crawl on his hands and knees to propose to you.  But, don't hold your breath.  Why?  One big reason is that men do not respect women and hold them in high regard if they do not have self-esteem.

Let's be truthful, if you have self-esteem you will not allow a man to treat you disrespectfully and/or take up your precious time to be a play toy.  You are honest and upfront and have no hidden agenda.  If you desire a monogamous relationship you won't settle for less.  If you desire marriage you don't pretend to be a free spirit who never wants to be tied down.  In other words, you are the person you are and you are proud of it!  He will always know what your standards are and that you will never be a doormat for him, or anyone else.

DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN

dating tips that work

Dating rules are like traffic laws - they're meant to keep things moving smoothly, but everyone breaks them anyway. They are like a game of Whac-A-Mole - just when you think you've got them all figured out, a new one pops up and throws you off your game.

First of all there are no hard and fast rules in love and romance. However, there are certain outcomes that are highly probable when considering the courtship and mating behavioral patterns of the average man. We all know that most men are perfectly okay with having sex ASAP and most women like to wait to be intimate even if they desire sex right away. While it is possible to have a long lasting relationship with a man after having sex too early (like on a first date) -- it is highly improbable. Why?

Because women are the gatekeepers of sexual pleasure, men subconsciously appraise a woman’s long-term value based on the effort required to “mate” with her. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, which compels them to choose a long-term partner based on the quality of her fertility and her perceived fidelity. So having sex with a man too early will make him evaluate you as being a potentially high-risk partner because he’ll be led to believe that if it was easy for him to get you into bed it will probably be easy for the next guy as well.

Although guys may try to convince you that granting them uncommitted sex won’t change how they feel about you, don’t be misled. It will most definitely change the way they view you, interact with you and even consider a lifetime commitment to you. They’re basing such conclusions on how they feel about you at the moment, and usually in the heat of the moment. Once the sex happens, however, his passion cools and his lucidity returns, which means he’s now thinking WAY more clearly. So after having sex with you he might realize that he wasn’t that interested in you to begin with, or that there’s just something about you that makes you an incompatible long-term partner. As one of my readers told me her partner said after having sex too early: "I think YOU got too attached after sex and for me it was just pleasurable". OUCH!

Waiting for a commitment before having sex will immediately weed out at least ninety-percent of guys that might have wasted your time. In fact, putting a high price on your sexual pleasures (i.e. – waiting months) will not only help you to weed out a high percentage of Mr. Wrongs, but it also makes you ridiculously more attractive to high-quality, marriage-minded men – the ones who will respect your boundaries and cherish your dignity the most.

Psychologist and author, David M. Buss’ research on strategies of human mating confirms that whenever a man begins courting a woman he’s running two different mating strategies at once. One strategy is to secure short-term pleasure as quickly as possible so that he can propagate his genes while the other is to test a woman to see if she’s a good candidate for long-term love and companionship.

Because these two mating strategies are operating at the same time, having sex too early and without a commitment will compel a man to place you in the “short-term” category. Even if he REALLY likes you, his primal mating programming will subconsciously warn him that the ease of sexual conquest is a sign of weakness regarding your fidelity and you will be red-flagged.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules in love and romance. And whether he’s getting the sex or not, a man might still pull away and lose interest in you for a myriad of other reasons totally unrelated to sex. But the fact still remains: You’re more likely to keep a guy interested in a serious relationship with you if you appeal to the long-term mating strategy that’s running in his subconscious if you're looking for commitment and lasting love.

Stop Your Man From Cheating with these 5 TIPS

cheating men

Cheaters are like magicians - they're really good at deception and sleight of hand. So, if you're thinking about cheating, just remember - karma's a b*tch, and she's got a long memory.

You've been cheated on before, but did you know there are ways to stop him from cheating again? Read these tips to help you keep your relationship strong. Stop your husband or boyfriend from cheating by learning how to spot red flags in his behavior and then using the signs to your advantage.

1. Don't be afraid to say "NO". If he's not willing to listen to you when you say no, then he probably won't respect you enough to follow through with what he says. Women who give their guys too much freedom and always say "YES" to whatever they want to do without question may be giving too much freedom.

2. Know his weaknesses. It's easy to spot his weaknesses, because he'll tell you about them. He might even brag about how good he is at something (like sex), so pay attention to those things. If his weakness appears to be attractive women or nights out with the boys you may have a potential cheater on your hands. If he talks about a female coworker too often there may be a crush happening. Put distance between your guy and all females with a secret technique.

3. Find out where he's been. If you suspect your partner has been unfaithful, ask questions. Don't just assume that he's cheating; find out for sure. Ask where he was last night, who he was with, what he was doing, and when he got home. Don't be afraid to be inquisitive because it not only shows you care but it tells him you're paying attention to what he does and who he does it with - VERY IMPORTANT!

4. Ask him about his friends. It's not uncommon for people to cheat because they're lonely. They might think that having an affair will make them feel better about themselves. Or maybe they're bored at home and looking for excitement elsewhere. Whatever the reason, if you suspect your partner is cheating, ask him about his friends. Again, it shows you're paying attention and you care.

5. Check his phone records. If you have access to his phone check to see who he's calling and how long the conversations last. If he has a lot of calls with other women, then he probably isn't being faithful. Look through his phone records to see who he's calling and don't be afraid to ask him for his phone with no warning. In a relationship you should be able to freely and without question (on both sides) request to see the other person's phone. You should both be "open books" to the other partner.

You can also use the mind control techniques I teach in my books OR listen to MP3 recordings that will stop him from cheating. STOP HIM FROM CHEATING

10 THINGS MEN FIND SEXY

trying to be sexy

Being sexy is like trying to bake a souffle -- one wrong move and everything falls apart. Let's be real, being sexy is hard work - there's nothing more exhausting than trying to maintain a smoldering gaze while simultaneously sucking in your stomach

Men surveyed say it isn’t about the sexy appearance of a women that turns them on as much as the following personality traits. Physical attraction is a good start but it isn’t going to keep him hooked forever.  These traits just may….

1)    INDEPENDENCE  Men love it when a woman has her own life and world and doesn’t depend on him to be by her side 24/7 because she’s co-dependent.  They want a woman who loves her world and, although she desires a mate, doesn’t just need someone (anyone) to fill the role of mate.  They feel special when they are chosen if they think the woman can live without him IF he isn’t the “right” one.  It makes them try harder to please her and be a good partner.

2)   CONFIDENCE  There is nothing sexier than a confident person! That means that you’re comfortable in your own skin and, while you have imperfections as we all do, you don’t let them make you feel less beautiful.  Men say a woman who walks into a room with confidence, whether she rates a 10 or a 2, will get their attention over someone more beautiful but less confident.  When you know who you are, love who you are and value yourself as a woman you exude a confidence that radiates sexy.

3)   BOUNDARIES  Believe it or not men don’t want to take advantage of women and have them accept their bad behavior.  They want a woman who says “hey, not so fast buddy you aren’t putting it over on me” and is willing to walk away from the relationship if their mate doesn’t treat her right.  Women who become doormats lose the attention and respect of their partners and it’s difficult to get it back.  Set your boundaries early and let him know when he’s crossed them.  He will love it that you love yourself to do it and he will find it super sexy and hot.

4)   HONESTY  Playing games is best kept in the bedroom and not in a relationship.  Be honest about who you are, what you want in your relationship, what you expect from him and all other things big and small.  Hate football?  Don’t pretend to love it because he’s a football addict.  Let him know you’re only there because of him and he will love you more.  An honest woman is a confident, secure woman and there is nothing hotter.

5)   OPINIONATED  You don’t need to voice your opinion non-stop but don’t be afraid to upset the status quo by keeping your opinions to yourself.  Voice your concerns in the relationship, tell him he would look better in a different shirt, let him know when he’s displeased you BUT do it in a kind manner.  Be “kind, honest and specific” when voicing your opinion and then LET IT GO.  Harping on a subject will drive him nuts and away from you.  Having an honest opinion, even if it is totally opposite from his, is respected and sexy.

6)   SENSE OF HUMOR  Laughing in a relationship is the key to a longlasting future together.  Whether it’s big or small, at yourself or at something silly, laughter makes the relationship last.  Women who take themselves too seriously are a turnoff.  Women who enjoy being silly or outrageous are a turn-on.

7)   AFFECTIONATE  A touch, a hug, a kiss, holding his hand or any form of touching is the biggest turn-on for your guy!  Men say they love it when their mate reaches out to them and makes them feel desirable.  Don’t always wait for him to be the one to show affection.  Let him know you can’t keep your hands off him, in a non-sexual way, and he will be putty in your hands.  Men see affectionate women as confident women!

8)   POSITIVITY  Men interviewed say that women who look for the positive are much sexier than the women who try to be sexy.  While the elusive, brooding women in movies may look sexy it’s the positive nature in women that men can’t resist.  That woman who looks at the bright side of things, doesn’t go to the dark side (at least very often), talks about the positive things in the relationship and looks for the good in others exudes sexiness.  Having issues with your mate?  Spend 24 hours finding the positive in him and share those things with him (not all at once) and he will be putty in your sexy hands.

9)   FRIENDLY  A man wants a woman that his friend’s want to be around. If he loves you he will tell his friends all about your greatness because he wants to pave the way for them to like you.  Being open, friendly and engaging makes a man proud to be with you.  Whether it’s around men or other women don’t let your insecurities or jealousy out.  Friendly women aren’t afraid of other pretty, confident women because they are right there with them.

10) BOLD  Do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do and be open to new adventures. Men say they find boldness in women a sexy and endearing trait.  Trust that he wouldn’t ask you to do something that would jeopardize your life and be adventurous enough to try new and different things.  Being a sex goddess in his eyes makes it worthwhile! 

attract men using psychic/remote seduction

Attract men like a maget

Magnetic attraction is like trying to separate two magnets that are stuck together - it's impossible, and you're likely to lose a fingernail in the process.

1.  Get into a relaxed state of mind and try to get your mind into the alpha state.  It is the perfect state of mind because you're able to tap into the universal energy.

2.  When you connect with your POI take your time to engage all of your senses.  Touch them, feel them, smell them and make the encounter as real as possible.

3.  Your POI will begin to feel powerful emotions toward you so treat them as you normally would.  Don't be coy, flirtatious, aggressive or anything out of the ordinary.  Give them time to react to their emotions without "pushing the boundaries".

4.  Get yourself aroused as well as your POI because that proves you are really connected.  Just as you can have an orgasm in your sleep, just by the power of your mind, you can get aroused enough during your visualization to really FEEL as if the encounter were real.

5.  After the visualization take time to bask in their energy, breathe in their essence, cuddle, kiss and bond.  Why?  You want more than a booty call so this ensures that they are emotionally attached.

6.  Remote seduction creates a bond between you and your POI that is like the feeling of "falling in love".  If you believe it's working, and it is, then you should not let fear and doubt creep in.  

7.  You will be a magnet to all men so ENJOY IT!  Women should love the attention of the opposite sex as much as men love giving it.  Don't sit around sad-faced because your POI isn't beating down your door.  Enjoy the attention of others while you wait for him to react.

8.  You'll get faster results if you use my guided BWD meditation because you will get into the magical manifesting faster, deeper and longer than trying to do it on your own.

Are you a "FALL BACK GIRL" or "GIRL OF HIS DREAMS"?

Don’t be the fall backk girl

Being a backup person is like being the understudy in a Broadway show - you're always ready to jump in if the main actor gets sick, but you're also acutely aware that you're not the star of the show.

 

"FALL BACK GIRL"

• You dated someone for two months before breaking up and then you chase him for the next six months or more;

• After two dates you're already telling him you love him and began mentally planning the wedding;

• None of your friends want to be around you because all you talk about is your current love (which seems to change regularly);

•  You're there for him 24/7 regardless of how little interest he shows;

• You wait for an invitation all week and find yourself alone on weekends because he hasn't made plans with you;

• You initiate contact and he responds when he wants OR with vague messages;

•  When he asks what you would like to do you tell him "whatever you would like" rather than express any desire whatsoever;

•  You make excuses for his poor treatment of you;

• You tell others (and believe) that he loves you too much and that's why he doesn't contact you;

• You explain his lack of commitment is because he is afraid of being hurt rather than admit it is because "he isn't that into you";

• You believe he is the "love of your life" when he is done little or nothing to show love to you;

• If you break up he comes back and you welcome him home as his "fall back" girl until he leaves again;

• You fear telling him no because you're afraid he will leave and never come back;You treat him like a king while your self-confidence has been destroyed.

 

"GIRL OF HIS DREAMS"

• You have no problem expressing yourself and your desires;

• You know you're a catch and you deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect;

• You would never allow yourself to be waiting around to see if someone is going to call because you have a life to live and you live it to THE fullest;

• If someone says "I need time apart" you view it as an opportunity to meet new people;

• You deserve love and commitment and you don't settle for less;

• If your mate says he wants a relationship break you let him go knowing that he will be back;

• You don't need to pressure a man because they WANT to be with you and admire your strength, self-esteem and determination;

• Men love to be around you because you are not clingy and they don't feel smothered;

• You believe in a "win/win" way to resolve issues and don't rehash the same argument over and over again;

• You don't lose your confidence because he seems noncommittal and don't place all your worth on the opinion of one man (or woman);

• You are too busy living your wonderful life to creep on someone's social media;

• It takes a while to win your heart because you view yourself with high regard and as a "prize" and don't give away your affection to just anyone;

• You desire to be in a relationship that's healthy and would not settle for one that isn't;

• You let no man control you BUT you are willing to be an equal partner;

• Not just anyone can pass your relationship criteria but when they do they appreciate your loyalty, love and devotion

• Only you can decide which one you are AND what you would choose to be!   I write relationship books for women who desire to be empowered and free from issues that have plagued them in the past.