LOVE vs LUST
A booty call is like ordering fast food - it's quick, easy, and satisfies a temporary craving. It's like a microwave meal, satisfying in the moment but ultimately unsatisfying in the long run. Love, on the other hand, is like a gourmet meal cooked with love and care. It takes time and effort to prepare, but the end result is something truly special and fulfilling.
Hey gorgeous ladies, let’s talk about something that's been on all of our minds at some point in time - the dreaded "booty call." You know the drill, he calls or texts you late at night, you go over to his place, and the next morning you're out the door without any further interaction. But here's the thing, some women think that this is the way to get the guy emotionally attached, but it's not. Trust me, some of the best "pure sex" does not lead to love, and some of the "least inventive" sex can lead to deep emotional attachment. It's all a matter of the heart.
I hear from my readers daily who want to know if they should continue having sex with their ex while trying to get a commitment out of him. Let me be real with you, if a guy has a willing sex partner who requires nothing more from him than a hookup, he'll take you up on that offer as frequently as he desires. If that's not what you're looking for, you'll have to decide if you want to continue being his friend with benefits. I know women enjoy the benefits as much as men, but if you're using sex as a way to get a commitment, you may want to rethink that decision.
Let me tell you a little story. I didn't see my love for an entire year after our four-year relationship crashed and burned. Why did we break up? Well, I think his freedom was too much of a priority, and he admitted it. I wasn't willing to be tossed aside only to get together occasionally for a sexual hook-up. Not for me, sorry. So we didn't talk for an entire year! No texts, no emails, no contact. I did, however, use my "secret technique" on him during that time to ensure that he didn't forget about me. Nothing wrong with some specific, directed thoughts that I knew he would receive. He proposed three weeks after we saw each other again!
Moral of the story? Don't settle for less than you deserve. If you break up, and he states clearly that he wants to continue with the "booty call" but nothing else, see it for what it is and break it off if you want more. There is nothing worse for your self-esteem than constant rejection and hoping for commitment. It is easier and healthier for you to be upfront with him and state what it is you need and desire. Hear what he has to say to you about your needs and don't filter it and only hear what you want to hear. If he says "I don't want a relationship," don't make excuses for him and turn that into "he loves me too much and is afraid." No! Take it as "I don't want a relationship....(maybe with you)." Yes, it hurts! But it's better to move on and find someone that does want a relationship with you.
Let's be real, most women can relate to the "booty call" boyfriend, and it leaves a very empty, vacant, low self-esteem feeling that can easily be recounted years later. However, we've all experienced the empowerment of not accepting less than we desire in our life, too. Is there anything better than taking back the control and moving on if that's what is necessary? Men, or people in general, will only respect you as much as you respect and honor yourself. Playing games isn't going to get you a strong, lasting relationship. Be honest, sincere and decide your course of action with your eyes wide open. "Booty Call" or significant other — you get to make that decision.
