GETTING SOMEONE TO CHANGE
Trying to change someone is like trying to teach a cat to do tricks - it's probably not going to happen, and you're just going to end up frustrated and covered in scratches. Focus on accepting people for who they are and finding common ground where you can coexist peacefully - kind of like roommates who don't always agree but still manage to split the rent and not kill each other.
You know the saying "all is fair in love and war" but it seems to me, after 25 years of counseling women, that women can be their own worse enemy when it comes to relationships. Do you see yourself in the following examples?
Your mate says "you're too needy" and rather than back off and prove that you are an independent woman you stalk him which further alienates him.
Your ex states that he "hates drama" so you throw a temper tantrum when he blocks you from social media and his phone after a nasty breakup.
He says "I want to date other women" and you make the excuse that he loves you too much and is afraid of commitment so he gets a free pass while you sit at home alone and miserable.
He tells you that he cares for you as a "friend with benefits" woman and, although you want an engagement ring, you agree to be that for him thinking you can change his mind in time.
He may be honest and upfront by stating that "he never wants to get married" but you are positive that sex will be so awesome he will change his mind so you stay in a relationship for years and "waste your pretty" on him rather than find a man who is available.
When he tells you all the things that are wrong with you (or the relationship) you try convincing him that you are "the perfect woman for him" and he could never find anyone who would love him more.
Women love to make over things so part of the problem is the challenge of getting someone to change. How many of your friends (or even yourself) have said "with a different hairstyle, clothes, personality, money, sexual appeal, etc." he COULD BE the perfect mate. He isn't at the moment but if he changes he has potential!
When a man states emphatically that the relationship is not going anywhere I beg you to listen to him. In the off-chance that he does change his mind he will hunt you down and crawl on his hands and knees to propose to you. But, don't hold your breath. Why? One big reason is that men do not respect women and hold them in high regard if they do not have self-esteem.
Let's be truthful, if you have self-esteem you will not allow a man to treat you disrespectfully and/or take up your precious time to be a play toy. You are honest and upfront and have no hidden agenda. If you desire a monogamous relationship you won't settle for less. If you desire marriage you don't pretend to be a free spirit who never wants to be tied down. In other words, you are the person you are and you are proud of it! He will always know what your standards are and that you will never be a doormat for him, or anyone else.