LANIE STEVENS

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Tales of Stalking and How to Avoid Being a Creeper

Yes, women do it all the time.  We creep!  We create accounts online that are fake, or get our friends to do it, so we can creep on the ex without his knowledge.  When I was broken up I got on match.com just to creep on my ex.  Of course, I really didn't get to use my account because I had to stay hidden or pay extra so he couldn't see me looking at him.  Once I accidentally had my profile turned on and he saw it --- how humiliating.

I wonder why men don't spend their time stalking us?  Well, for the most part anyway.  I had an ex "John" who actually hired a private detective and tracked  me down while I was out of the state.  I had a PI (not a good-looking one like Magnum) show up at a remote location in the mountains with a fake clipboard in his hand asking silly questions about non-existent neighbors.  Poor John.  He was the ultimate "creeper".  He slept outside my house one night and I was walking to the street to get my garbage receptacle the next morning when I saw a car (a rental) parked across the street.  The windows were rolled down and I kept seeing a head pop up and down.  Curiosity got the best of me so I went over to the car and sure enough up popped John.  He was in the backseat and looked like he had a rough night trying to sleep in that tiny car.

I suppose the person who cares the most is usually the "creeper".  In John's case it was me who left so I get it.  One night I found him  hiding behind a bush that was the size of a small ficus tree.  It was 2AM and I saw someone crouching down with sunglasses and a baseball cap on.   When I saw him he began chasing me down the street like a 2 year old.  I didn't realize he could run that fast!

I  kept telling him to give up but he wouldn't do it!  He thought there was hope because I was nice to him but I was nice to him because I was over him.  Is that the curse of being nice to someone that you lead them into believing they have a chance?  Is your boyfriend being nice to you and leading you into believing that he will be back?  Only you know the answer but my advice to you is to step back and evaluate the situation before forcing yourself on him.  "Don't be a creeper".

It is horrible for the person being stalked because they feel trapped--- trapped and pissed.  Anger is not the emotion you want to evoke if you want your ex back.  I was so angry that I could have choked John but instead ended up calling the police for protection.  How do you know if you are the "creeper"?  Well, if you are planning ways to "run into" him, devising a plan to accidentally send him a text message, checking out his friend's FB account hoping you will see a pic of him (because he blocked you from his), going to his hangout with your girlfriends for support, thinking of reasons you need to get something you "left accidentally" at his place -- you're a creeper.

My advice is to move on and let him go -- for now!  You can send him messages the way I teach in my books and know that they will get to him faster and better than accidental text messages where you are pretending to be having such a fabulous time.  You know, the pic of you and your single girlfriends at HH trying to live it up and exude confidence.  When you move on you will actually get your power back and have fun without pretending!   When he truly and accidentally runs into the new, powerful and confident "you" that he fell in love with it will make him miss you and see you in an entirely different light.  Isn't that what you secretly long for?

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